You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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