I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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