HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
