Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize