i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
