We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Less talking, more tequila
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
