When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
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