i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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