You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize