sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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