There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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