he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just high enough for therapy.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
