so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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