He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
