literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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