just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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