Need sex. Gaining weight.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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