it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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