Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
