awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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