It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Verdict: uncircumcised.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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