It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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