You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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