Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
