i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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