were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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