We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
