Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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