I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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