I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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