Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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