dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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