hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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