they need to just BURY HIM!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm both gender and math confused
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize