Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
