Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
