I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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