It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
