Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize