They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
