can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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