Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
