Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
