Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
