i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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