playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
