you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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