Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
