Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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