I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize