she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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