so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
