Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Randomize
