That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
