She announced her abortion via fbk
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
