I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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