Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
