I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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